The Softail
Welcome to my mid life crisis.
Mom would never allow me to have a motorbike of any kind. Joe almost softened her up when I was 16, but she ultimately ruled against it. Needless to say I decided not to tell her about the hang-gliding until I was going to be on TV for being one of the youngest advanced pilots in America.
She’d pass bikers on the road and mumur under her breath, thinking I couldn’t hear:
“Crazy bastard”
I never knew why she hated bikes so much, she’d never tell me. I wish she’d lived to see the Documentary “Why We Ride”. I thought of her the first time I saw it. The power of that film could have broken the spell. Later I’d meet the producer, James Walker, now motorcyclist of the year for the AMA, and ride with him.
I borrowed friends bikes, mostly road on trails in the woods, and didn’t get one of my own till I was out of school.
It was more like flying than hang-gliding because you’re always doing the best parts of flight, launching and landing, a continuous cycle. Being so close to the world as you fly over it, acceleration enhanced by so many visual sensations an intoxicating acceleration.
My Dad had passed the day he was to take me up after getting his license to fly small planes. I came down the stairs to summer camp and found a priest in my living room, no dad, no flying.
He looked exactly like George Reeves Clark Kent, the glasses, the suit, the hair. That series exploded with boys my age at that time adding to my longing for flight. To this day that scene at the opening of the show with the gun and the train, people looking up gives me a special elation.
http://i85.photobucket.com/albums/k65/teddy51/teddy51013/SUPERMANFLYINGGIF.gif
I started Cliff diving, Hang-Gliding, Bungie-Jumping, Scuba, Inline Skates. Anything for my flight fix. I’ve tried all forms of flight and many times over.
…NOTHING fits my flight fix like a motorbike, it’s immediate, key in and twist, no set up, no breakdown. The world is an airfield. Nothing breathes more life into this boy.
Somehow I’d forgotten that great truth….life caught up with me after being away from riding for a while, mid life swooped in and took over for a while, I began abandoning all forms of flight, but it didn’t last long. So would my return be a Midlife crisis? No, the crisis is what was happening now.
You see, my dad was an engineer for NASA. He lead the team that designed the electronics for Telstar, our first satellite, and our answer to the Russian’s Sputnik. The space race was on and our defense department could not allow the Russians to have higher ground that us. I don’t remember him much, he was required to work more than a non union Canadian visual effects artist. For those who don’t know what hat means…it means you work all the fucking time and often for free.
He was tired of that and had announced to me one Saturday morning that he was quitting an we were moving to Australia where he was going to follow his dream of flight and be a pilot for an outfit that flew folks into the outback. I remember looking at the map of OZ in our living room with him….but it was too late. He’d be following his heart but not to an earthly sky.
I had a windfall one day, and went with it.
James, a young guy in our lighting dept distracted me for a 8 minutes and I made $23,000 on a fluke security I was about to sell for far less. Call options can jump and this one on Apple did just that. Thank you James.
Before I could convince myself to turn it into a million dollars because I’m THAT good (yeah right) I drove over to Bartel’s Harley Davidson and met Jeff Brag, The greatest salesman in the history of motorcycle salesman. He had closed me by not saying anything while I rambled on about how I was going to think about it. He saw the look in my eyes, he knew I was a gonner. He just waited a beat.
“I’ll take that one” I said.
“Cool” he said.
We are friends to this day.
Here’ s a clip from a ride with Jeff, Gevin Fax, and James Walker.
https://vimeo.com/141747747
Lots of motorcycle brands come pretty much assembled with little reason to modify them. Indian, Victory, Triumph, Honda, all pretty much finished canvases.
But not Harley. You buy a block of metal, a lump of clay that reaches into your wallet and extracts any spare change, or loose savings accounts, or second mortgages.
It wasn’t long before that softail became this, and the hippies seemed to dig it.
Pipes, bags, windscreen. Then navigation, iPhone bluetooth, radar detector, all talking to the Schuberth S2 helmet, quietest helmet made.
Voice commands while riding became pure joy. Everything from “what time is it” “List Hotels” to “Play Animal by Def Leppard” or “factime Sophie” That’s my niece Sophie riding along with me…no I don’t look at the screen, the camera is for her, hearing Uncle dave perfectly and seeing the palm trees reflecting on the helmet. I can hear her just fine, the fidelity in my helmet is exceptional thanks to the custom dual driver ear molded earphones from Precision Labs, nice people GREAT product. Fifty bucks to have ear molds made at most audiologists and $200 for the custom fit soft gel challenger earphones with dual drivers.
https://vimeo.com/91828222
The Road King
It wasn’t long before I decided to upgrade to a 2014 Road King. It looked like an industrial gizmo upon signing.
Like a pound dog in a damp papered cage it needed help. I photo shopped this one day and got to work ..well mouse clicking and typing, a few phone calls anyway.
Johnny Rocket and some others did all the work.
Exotic Choppers out of Orlando Florida made the exhaust. I’d seen the set above on their site but wanted the two pipes out the back. They made them and I guess it was pretty difficult because they told me they’d NEVER make them again….
Johnny recommended a race tuner and we got the best Harley one and had a pro program it.
The combination created a sound that was unique and melodic.
<insert sound>
The side bags were from Iron Bags . You design them yourself from and endless array of choices. Donna made sure that I got everything I needed and on time. Great customer service and a great product.
Johnny Rocket said as he installed them on the Road King
” I want to see the machine that stitched these bags, a real quality product”.
The tank was going to be a special job. I’d originally seen this tank design harley had in the 30’s online and photoshopped it onto the bike in the picture above. Then I received this customer gift from the service Manager, Brian Cornel at Bartel’s Harley, and there is was again.
Johnny said he had just the guy. Jerry, owner of Jerk Painting. So I went over to Jerry’s shop one day and was blown away by his work. I figured anyone who has the balls to call his company “Jerk” has to be talented. I dropped off the tank and this quick hacky photoshop sketch of mine. I gave him minimal direction. After seeing his talent I wanted him to take this and change it any way he saw fit, knowing I’d get an inspired product.
My hacky sketch
He sent me this proof along the way.
I knew it was gold.
…and here’s the finished product.
Jerry at Jerk Painting …call him .. 805 857 9904
The windscreen, haymaker headlights..so cool because they are black when they are off…were ordered directly from Harley Davidson.
Johnny Rocket made custom mini-ape handlebars with his own an anti-vibration design.
then he crafted and had chromed these custom pieces that matched the chrome heat shields on the exhaust from Exotic Choppers.
….and with great precision the bike came together .
Johnny Rocket, ace harley mechanic, and maestro of this masterpiece.
Right away girls liked it…
…and small dogs
Such a pretty bike…
I have to say something here about Johnny Rocket. Not only is he a brilliant mechanic and artist but he’s become a dear friend along the way. I’m lucky I can have someone to call on this long journey ahead. Malibu to Millinocket Maine and back. As Owen Wilson put it
“…..ain’t no trip to Cleveland”
To be continued …this page is incomplete.